I'm working on my help_haiti commissions.  The winning bidder for both lots asked for something like these in black and white and with two different texts.

(I don't know how legible that picture of the pattern actually is, but scanning graph paper sucks.)

These aren't going to be getting the signal bars on the sides (that was a possibility, but the bidder likes them as is), so tomorrow they're going to be ironed and sent off to Australia.

I don't care what anybody says: Kirk's green wrap around shirt will always be the captain's fat day shirt to me.

When Kristen first saw this, she read it as "FAT DAD" and my mother couldn't seem to read it at all.  So either Sparkle Text has finally failed me, or there's some sort of genetic defect in the family.

I'd been planning to make these for awhile, but I had to put it on hold (and hide ESCALATOR) while I was working on the Old Man's Christmas present.

As you can see, I was much more..."creative" in my framing of FAT DAY.  Which is in no way related to "cutting the fabric like a moron."  Because it is a completely artistic choice.  That represents a very meaningful allegory.

I haven't decided what I'm going to do with my red shirts yet, but I am happy to know that the x'ed out eyes read well in person.

I was going to backstitch Yeoman Rand's epic space-weave, but that worked much better on paper than on actual fabric.

This week's project is finishing Space CART, my help_haiti commission, and working on pot holders for Etsy.  Once Space CART's done I'm going to send it with some picture books that Kristen doesn't want for Kirkspock.  (What's really depressing is that when this kid is actually born and has a real name, I'm going to have a hell of a time not calling him Kirkspock)

As you can see, I've made so much progress on Space CART that it should be ready by the time Young Master Carter heads off to college.

More on my help_haiti commission once I actually get it started.  I've gotten a fairly detailed request and sent a scan of the pattern I made this afternoon.

Let me tell you, internet, red pencil on graph paper does not make for a nice looking scan.  Especially when it's nothing but backstitched letters.

With the pot holders, I have a conundrum: I'm going to cross stitch a design on them, then felt them.  What the hell do I do about the backs?

Here's an example.  This is the back of a Special Valentine Present for My Special Valentine, Kendra.

This particular pot holder isn't being felted--the white yarn is Lion Wool-Ease, so it'll presumably hold up to the fierce wilderness of the dryer.  Well, it would, except the red yarn is Paton's Wool and will shrink.

As I learned from my Trekkie But Not Up To Trekker Standards Pot Holder, do not add any backstitch before felting.  It shrivels up, looks like crap, and members of your family shame you adding a Command catch phrase to a Science colored pot holder.  Which means that crocheting two squares, crocheting them together, and then felting the whole thing isn't really a viable option (and sounds like a potential mold farm anyway).

 

For personal use--and impulse gifts to my brother-in-law--I don't really give a crap about the back.  And I could probably trim this down a bit, but it's never going to be as nice as the front.  Which is why it's the back.

On the other hand, I didn't buy these.  If you bought something like this, how important would the back be to you?

Kicking ascot

This winter, I have been abusing the hell out of this scarf pattern.  I've made three in three different colors of Lion Brand Microspun (which is soft, but very slippery when you're actually working with it), one in Paton's Wool for Kristen (who hopefully remembers not to put it in the dryer), and one in Vanna's Glamour Sapphire for my mother's birthday.

Zoot is modeling the one I'm still working on for myself. Well, maybe myself--I don't know if I really like the way the yarn feels.  I think everything except Kristen's scarf is acrylic, but this one's much coarser.

I first tried the pattern because I had leftover yarn and, being confident and not good at math, figured that the One Ball Scarf would totally work for what was left after two potholders.  (I bought the yarn with Kristen in mind, but when stealthily asking her opinion she said it was pretty, but she'd prefer the brighter option for her kitchen.  So, Claire got potholders, Kristen got a scarf.)

I assume anyone who actually cares about the pattern should just register at Lion Brand anyway, but I do enjoy a bit of minor, extremely lame piracy:

Chain 30.
Row 1: Double crochet in 6th chain from hook, *skip next chain, chain 1, double crochet in next chain; repeat from * across ending with double crochet in last chain.
Row 2: Chain 4 (counts as first double crochet and chain 1), turn. *Skip next chain-1 space, double crochet in next double crochet, chain 1, repeat from * across ending with double crochet into last double crochet.
Repeat Row 2 until almost all yarn has been used. Fasten off.

For some reason I decided that it was "Chain 31", so that's why your scarf is horrible and bad.  I also found that you want to end your rows by double crocheting in the chain (second from the top seems to work well), then chain 4, skip the dc you just made, and then start the row (otherwise it starts getting weird).  


Hopefully that makes sense to anyone actually attempting it at home.


The pattern appears a few more times on the Lion Brand site--there's another version under Vanna's Glamour and there's one for Microspun.  The Flower Scarf for Microspun yarn involves adding dippy little flowers, and I'm kind of skeptical that you'd be able to get the scarf long enough and make the flowers using only one ball--but then I made mine slightly wider (ch 31 instead of 22), so what do I know?

Don't stop believin'

TRUE LOVE ALWAYS

Why is it that whenever I see patterns like these, I immediately think, "Mischief"?

(Stitchnmomma and Andwasabi)

I mean, normal people look at these and probably think, "How cute!  I could use these to express my love!"  And I wonder "Wouldn't it be hilarious if I mailed people embroidered conversation hearts that said 'U GOT AIDS' and 'SYPHILIS'?"

12 Days of Christmas gifts--Blue and Bronze (or Silver) edition

Jamel loves the Harry Potter series.  So, last year I made her a towel with the Ravenclaw crest on it.

I modified a Little Mojo pattern to fit the stitching space of a Charles Craft showcase huck towel, added a second color, and of course forgot to take a picture of the finished piece before I gave it to her.  (Little Mojo's site vanished earlier in 2009, but I think most of the charts are still available at The Leaky Cauldron. )

Naturally this created a problem: how the hell do I equal that?

Jamel also likes purple, and I've been playing around with wool felting this fall.  In the foreground you can see the gift for Tammy, my karate instructor (I assumed she likes blue since that's the color of her sparring equipment and usually her toenail polish), and a slightly larger version for Jamel.

I also made her a little Uhura magnet.  (Based on previous experience, Jamel will probably assume it's because she's black when actually it's because I think she would make an excellent telephone operator.)

Then it occurred to me: I should totally get Jamel a Snuggie and put a Ravenclaw crest on it so when she's lounging around the house, she can pretend she's at Hogwart's instead of law school.

As I was researching the best way to do this (online Ravenclaw crest price comparisons, the cost of making my mom attach something to a store bought Snuggie versus making my mom sew a Snuggie then attach something to it), I saw the Facebook status post you always want to see while planning a project like this: someone else bought Jamel a Hogwart's Snuggie.

So, it was back aboard the Lion Brand Microspun Yarn Scarf train.  (Basically, everybody either got a scarf or potholders this Christmas.)