Then I remembered: sports have mascots! And I have the internet to tell me what NHL mascots are.
According to Wikipedia, the mascot for the Washington Capitals is Slapshot the Eagle.
According to me, you can very easily turn the Easy Crochet Critters Snowy Owl into a Bald Eagle. Do the first 9 rows in white, then switch to brown. For the feathered ruff, I crocheted the first row of brown in the back loops. You can totally stick it to Vanna White by not using Vanna's Choice Yarn to alter the patterns that I'm sure she herself put so much effort into designing.
I was going to try to make a tiny jersey, but my critical mistake was sewing the wings on before attempting to make clothes. Also, it is incredibly difficult to find tiny hockey sticks when you live in Virginia.