Sauntering through a Summer Sweatshop

I don't know about you, but when it's hot as balls out and I should probably be taking mid-day showers, all I can think about is makin' gloves.  I used the Lion Brand pattern for Green Thumb Wristers (which appears to be completely identical to the Touchdown Wristers pattern except for the yarn color)  The pattern as written is too small for my delicate, ladies' hands--which I assume you are quite small, as I am a lady--so you may need to adjust.  Several times.  I ended up going with Chain 16.

Assuming you know how to a half double crochet stitch and can adapt a pattern to the tiny, daintiness of your feminine hands, it's pretty easy.  The biggest problems I had were getting used to the bulky yarn and the big ass hook.  The yarn (Hometown USA in Minneapolis Purple) splits easily, and I'm not really sure how to describe working with the big ass hook.  Really, my first instinct is make remarks that could be interpreted as lewd, yet are innocent descriptors of a crochet hook.

To sew the first glove, I sewed up part of the seam, then tried it on.  Being incredibly awesome, I got it just the right length to stop for the thumb hole.  Using my incredibly brilliant technique of "holding fabric", I marked off where the thumb hole should end and went back to sewing.

Mad with hubris, I crocheted the next glove, then decided to just compare it with the other one.  I had no need for rulers or other math-based implements!  Even the gods themselves could not match my skill or wit!

Let me tell you, internet, if you're making something that comes in identical pairs, it is probably a good idea to actually measure things--such as thumb holes--with a ruler or other length-measuring tool.  Because if you're making...oh, I don't know, fingerless gloves, and you decide to "eye it", you will somehow end up with different sized thumb holes.  Even when you try the second one on, mid seam sewing, and frequently hold them up to each other.

Also, it is not really possible to sew up part of a glove while you are wearing it.  Even if it's on your left hand.  How art thou fallen, O Kate, Star of the Late Afternoon!

Once you have removed the glove from your hand, it becomes easier to adjust the thumb hole size.  By an astonishing coincidence, I've already got a scarf I made last year that happens to match.  It's not exact, but there's a light purple shade that is pretty close for a completely different brand of yarn.

Next up: a matching hat.  I've started using my big ass crochet hook and the hat part of the kitty hat pattern. I might tighten it up since I really dislike hats where you can see the person's head through the fabric.