Friday, October 15, 2010

612 Wharf Avenue

Have I complained about Blogger's new photo uploader?  Because I should.  But I'm going to complain about other, epically important things instead.

It's Halloween season, which means it's once again time for candy-covered Oreos!  Well, candy-covered Store Brand Chocolate Sandwich Cookies because I'm not made of money.  You're looking at basically an entire package of Store Brand Chocolate Sandwich Cookies that have been pressed into sweet, sweet candy.

There was some confusion about the candy making process in Modernist Literature, so, here's Kate's Old Fashioned Candy Recipe:

  1. Buy a package of candy melts.  Prepare delicious,
  2.  "homemade" candy by opening the package.
  3. Pour candy into bowl and melt in microwave
  4. Spoon candy into plastic tray shaped like things
  5. Tap tray against counter as if this will actually remove the air bubbles
  6. Press Store Brand Chocolate Sandwich Cookies into candy
  7. More tapping
  8. Place tray in refrigerator to set candy
  9. Go watch TV
  10. Remove cookies from tray, using hand or knife to remove any excess candy around the edges (if you are Kate, do not use a knife because you will probably injure yourself and then feel compelled to tell everyone the real, idiotic story rather than making up something with slightly more dignity)
  11. Shamelessly accept compliments on delicious, "handmade" treats

Mixed in among the cookies are skulls.  

I was really excited to find the candy skull mode.  Most of you will assume that this is my usual, world-hating cynicism, but the depressing thing is that I was briefly capable of genuine happiness when I thought about making candy skulls.

What I didn't realize was that the 3-D Candy Skull Mold has 8 cavities, but each skull has two pieces (don't ask me how I interpreted "3-D" when I thought I could make 8 skulls at once.  I don't know either).
This means you can only make 4 skulls at a time.  Another issue is that you put candy in the mold, put it in the fridge to set, and then paint melted candy on the back of one skull piece to "glue" the pieces together.  

Fun fact: the melted candy sets in the fridge, but it will also harden at room temperature  [inappropriate joke]. So, by the time your skull pieces are ready for assembly, you need to melt a small amount of candy.  There's also the issue of whether or not your front and your back will be perfectly flat (Spoiler Warning: They won't be) and getting them to fit together.

They look really good, and if I needed some mindless repetitive task to put off reading British literature, I'd probably get into full sweatshop mode on these...except I think the shape/design of the human skull makes it unable to stay upright in all of its 3-D candy glory.  Once again, I think Wilton is just giving me these impossibly awesome looking pictures so I can be taunted by my candy crafting inadequacies (See also "Painting Candy Details")

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