Monday, March 21, 2011

I'll show them how many dinosaurs the Kate can paint!

(Unrelated altruism: I'm offering a custom cross stitch over on help_japan.  If you've ever dreamed of forcing me to do you bidding and enjoy donating money for the privilege of an arts and crafts serf, the auction's open until March 31st.) 

Michaels was having a sale on those unpainted wooden animals, so I decided it was finally time to invest in a T-Rex.

Certain people have questioned the fact that I am painting a dinosaur.  And I say to you, internet, why are you not painting dinosaurs?  I mean, maybe it'd be sad and pathetic if it was one of the shitty dinosaurs, but this is the Tyrant Lizard King.  Tyrannosaurus bestrode the world like a colossus during the Cretaceous Era, slaying loser dinosaurs and crushing their bones with its six-inch teeth.

A smart person decorating a Creatology Squiggle Critters Wooden Tyrannosaurus might have used sandpaper on the Wooden T. Rex before painting.  A person as awesome as the T. Rex would simply just start painting--with awesome metallic paint--and figure that she could just paint over the rough spots later.

Since I knew I could probably find awesome metallic paint somewhere in the house, I didn't even bother to open up the 0.39 ounces of paint that help transform a wooden dinosaur into a wooden dinosaur kit.  If the paints are the same quality as the included paint brush, just looking at them has probably given me severe lead poisoning.

As you look at these pictures, imagine me singing the Jurassic Park theme.  (Which of course I am not doing as I paint, because who would do that?)  That will help you feel the majesty and awe of the first time you saw that big T. Rex robot in the Batcave.

You can tell that I am a responsible adult with a job and my own keys because I'm using the Business section of the newspaper to paint a dinosaur.

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