I've been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life.

This year, I decided that Kendra should be my special Valentine.

This decision was mostly based on the fact that bought sparkly white Wool-Ease because I thought you could felt Wool-Ease.  Which would be super awesome since it's much cheaper, but you win again, Lion Brand.

So, one day, it occurred to me: Twilight.  As you may or may not know, I hate the Twilight franchise because it's popular and because I hate anything that brings teenagers joy.

Kendra once offered to buy my ticket to Twilight and get me liquored up on her dime.  I told her to go to hell which, given how much I love alcohol, free alcohol, and getting liquored up, made everybody realize that I'm super serious about hating Twilight.  (So, they got drunk, went to Richmond's historic second run theater, and ruined the entire viewing experience for a large, gay, black man.)

But I don't hate Kendra, myspecial Valentine, even though she keeps trying to trick me into reading and/or watching Twilight.

Just look at the fine craftsmanship on this potholder.  I want you guys to know that every single one of those ~2,200 stitches was made with love or at least giggling moronically as I thought about how devilishly clever I am.  You may argue that "giggle moronically at how devilishly clever I am" is not a feeling or even a Care Bear, but for me it basically is.


Is my special Valentine actually a member of Team Edward? I don't know, but I do know this: werewolves don't sparkle.  Or maybe they do, but they probably don't sparkle like diamonds.

And since it's not Valentine's Day without a lovingly handmade card, I combined Google Image Search, a dry erase marker, and old glitter glue to make this expression of my creepy, possessive love.

Over on LJ, I posted a meme offering a crude scribble for the first five people who commented.  Kendra asked for "A Kirk/Zapp Brannigan throwdown, MK-style. Bonus points for writing a short story to go along with it."


I rightly assumed this was beyond my abilities.  However, actually utilizing my talents would have taken time and effort, so I just drew this on the envelope I used to send my extremely well made card and potholder.