Monday, September 19, 2011

Love and Beauty Shock

You want to know if you're a winner in life?  Are you looking at freeze frames of Sailor Venus to try to figure out what the back of her shoes look like?  Which is basically staring at a fictional 15 year old's ass?  My friends, I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I can tell you that the ankle straps on Sailor Venus's shoes are not actually attached to anything.

It was super-important for me to gain this information so I could make an awesome birthday present for my awesome friend Kendra's birthday.  Which was last month.  But it's not my fault that things like "deadlines" and "planning" and "doing things on time" stifles my creativity.  You think you're better than me?  Where's your bootleg anime doll you cobbled together out of free patterns?

Another sign that you're a winner is keeping a bunch of severed limbs in your free nerd conference bag.  When you want stitches to stand out (like the orange on the gloves), stitch a round in the back loops (here the last row of white), then stitch the other color in the loops you left empty.

The skirt pattern is taken from a mermaid tail pattern.  I wish it flared a bit more, but I like that it looks pleated.

The original plan was to crochet the collar, but that took too much planning and possibly math.  The solution: felt.  You might think that cutting out felt would require careful planning and meticulous cutting, but the bow covers the...meticulously and skillfully crafted collar.

You should probably zoom in and admire that heart brooch, because that is probably the finest thing I will ever cut freehand.  I should probably have had it framed so that the people of tomorrow can gaze upon  my works and despair.  I'm probably not even going to bother to get dressed today since nothing I will ever do will be as good as that freehand felt heart.

As for assembly, some people would hand sew everything.  Those people are chumps.  The superior person knows that there are very few problems that can't be solved by a hot glue gun.  In fact, the only problem I can think of that can't be solved by a hot glue gun is burning your fingers from using hot glue to secure thin pieces of felt.

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